Review: The Year 2016 (2016)

‘2016’ was a film that debuted in early January starring Bernie Sanders, Neo-Nazis who get sad when you call them that, Anthony Hopkins, Overwhelming sadness, The Not-so-United Kingdom, a gorilla, Jennifer Garner, and a different, more orange gorilla who I guess just calls the shots now. It was co-directed by Brett Ratner and Evil Jesus from the mirror universe, and written by George RR Martin with the writing teams from “The Big Bang Theory” and “Arrow”.

It’s lengthier than most films to come out the same year, clocking in at 8,760 hours. Critics have been noted as saying that this is entirely *too* long, and heavy edits could have been made while still preserving the core story. Brett Ratner was steadfast in his resolve, however, and the full cut was released. My personal belief is that we could have shortened it to about two and a half hours.

I watched all of 2016, and while it did have its moments, I felt that the overall writing was subpar at best, and the direction absolutely dismal.  The character of “America”, played by Kevin James of “Paul Blart Mall Cop” fame, was rather unbelievable. America didn’t seem to have clear motivations throughout the story, and while it’s missteps in the beginning part of the movie were somewhat charming, by the end we had lost all sympathy for the character. Not to mention that the ‘big reveal’ later in the movie that ‘America’ had been a racist the whole time was only a surprise to people that didn’t pay attention to the previous 250 films. In the inevitable sequel, I would personally recast the part, though there are rumors that James had signed on for another 900 installments.

As previously stated, the writing in this film is awful.  GRRM known for the ‘Song of Ice and Fire’ series cannot seem to translate his writing to the screen, as we had several protagonists who were killed off during the film for what seems like no real reason. While the deaths in ‘Game of Thrones’ have weight and plot to justify them, this just felt like a little kid with a magnifying glass burning ants… so many beautiful ants… All of the deaths were abrupt and done for shock value. The other characters didn’t grow from the loss, because the loss was needless.  The ‘Prince’ character, portrayed perfectly by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, had a magnificent, fan-favorite character built up over several previous movies, but the writers from popular TV show ‘Arrow’ managed to stop eating paste for long enough to ruin what should have been a strong, beautiful  ending. Classic writers from ‘Arrow’.

It was a movie filled with subplots that had no resolve, and much more striking story lines that somehow were never the focus, but were still vaguely present. In one scene a gorilla (played by an unrecognizable Justin Long) is shot, and majority of the writing after that is very much centered around that scene. The film sets up immigration issues and civil war in foreign lands, but it’s never expanded upon; at least in the American release.

I would definitely pass on this film, and recommend ‘2006’ instead. Much clearer story and some solid character work. They’ve already announced ‘2017’ set for release early next year, so we’ll see if the writers of that one are able to hold a story together. I could personally go for something a little more light-hearted in the next go-round. The characters just need to meld a bit better, and remember that they’re all in the same movie and they will continue to be until the whole studio burns down. There are no small parts, only the parts that seem small because the character doesn’t realize how important they really are.

2016 doesn’t get a rating from me, because it doesn’t need one. It is what it is.